Anecdotes of an Estrovert: The Beginning of the End

June 2026

6:03

I don’t know exactly when perimenopause snuck up on me.

I had my son in my early 30s. Since my husband and I were team 'no kids', he was a bit of a surprise. But that's what happens when you play a certain game of roulette with your birth control. I figured since there was one, it is best to have another because then my little boy would have someone to play with. However, I was rapidly approaching the age where the term "geriatric pregnancy” was already being tossed around with all the delicacy of a brick through a window.

But you know what phrase I'd never heard?

Perimenopause. Not once.

My hormones were already unbalanced thanks to fibroid tumors that had set up shop in my uterus since my pregnancy, so night sweats (and all the underarm funk that comes with it) were not exactly foreign to me—especially the week before my cycle reboot, when my hormones threw a rave for seven days.

Once I turned 40, I gave up on my baby-adding aspirations. Because honestly? I felt amazing.

There was no weird weight gain. My emotions were aligned. My energy was good. Skin was glowing. My confidence was through the roof, due to me leaving the corporate world and starting my own skincare brand. I felt grounded, clear-headed, vibrant.

The transition from 39 to 40 was uneventful for me.

Honey, I was thriving.

I truly did not understand why everyone acted like turning 40 was some sort of biological apocalypse.

I thought folks were just being dramatic.

Here's the thing about drama: If you look in the mirror and whisper it three times, it'll happen. Because when I turned 41 and a half?

Perimenopause slid into my life like an uninvited houseguest, rearranged the furniture, ate my snacks, and informed me that the rules had changed.

Here's something you might not know: perimenopause loves consequences. Every bad habit you used to recover from with minimal repercussions suddenly comes with interest. Compounded. With a late penalty.

That occasional indulgence? That stress you powered through? Logged. That sleep deprivation? Oh, your body notices and takes notes.

Over the course of about three months, I gained 15 pounds.

Fifteen.

Not because I was living exclusively on donuts and denial. I ate reasonably well. But I had my moments. More than a few.

Apparently, in perimenopause, “moments” become memories your waistline keeps forever. Then, because life likes dramatic timing, the pandemic shut the world down. And within those two years came traumatic events—emotionally and physically—that my body absolutely held onto.

Unfortunately, no one really tells you this inconvenient truth:

Perimenopause and chronic stress are not friends. They’re co-conspirators.

It’s a uniquely exhausting thing to go through a major hormonal transition during a globally stressful, psychologically destabilizing event. My nervous system was waving a white flag while my hormones were busy setting small fires.

But it was during this time that I finally dug into what was happening inside my body. It wasn't just age. I knew I was transitioning toward "the change", but I didn't understand what exactly was causing such chaos.

Why my body no longer responded “on command.” Why the methods that once worked…didn’t. Why the foods I used to brush off suddenly left me inflamed, sluggish, bloated, and generally questioning my life choices. (I'm calling you out, fried potatoes.)

And then came the hormonal meltdown.

Intense uterine pain that put me flat in bed for three days. The discomfort was so intense that I briefly thought my fibroid had ruptured and I had internal bleeding. This was the third painful hormonal attack I had experienced in two years. I was no longer impressed.

That was the moment I realized perimenopause was not some vague “middle age” concept people whispered about while fanning themselves with church programs.

No.

She was real. She was chaos.

And she made the rules.

I just needed to learn how to play by them. Not perfectly.

But intentionally.

With IlluminAlchemy, I wanted to create a wellness space for other women that I wish I had when I was first entering perimenopause.

What started as frustration became curiosity.

That curiosity became education.

And that education eventually became transformation.

Putting my skincare and makeup company aside and building toward becoming a functional health coach—and creating IlluminAlchemy—was my response to the flux my body was going through.

Because I knew I could not be the only woman asking:

Why does my body suddenly feel unfamiliar?

Why am I doing “all the right things” and getting different results?

Why does no one talk about this until you’re already in it?

This blog exists because of those questions.

Because if perimenopause is going to hand us plot twists, hormonal roulette, and surprise emotional cameos over absolutely nothing...

…we might as well talk about it.

With honesty.

With science.

With humor. And not a small amount of sarcasm.

I no longer want to trek through perimenopause blindfolded, with each day birthing a new symptom. If this transition is gonna lead the way into parts unknown, I’d rather ride with intention than be taken for a ride.

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When did you first realize your body was changing? Was it the unexplained weight gain? The sleep disruptions? Mood shifts? Hot flashes? A cycle that suddenly had a mind of its own?

I’d genuinely love to hear your “wait…what is happening?” moment in the comments—because the more we talk about this, the less alone we all feel.

And this could be the moment another woman realizes the biological chaos they're experiencing is not their imagination.

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Find out more about the author and owner of IlluminAlchemy Functional Beauty Method, Billie Marie Coleman, here.